What are values and how do they serve us?

For the purpose of this post, I am referring to values that we hold inside. The standards by which we measure our own and others’ behaviors.

We often do not think of them when making random decisions such as that person is being ridiculous or stupid or any other word that notes we disagree with someone’s actions.

We rarely give a thought as to why we feel the way we do, where they come from or how we have come to feel superior in our belief.

I grew up in very dysfunctional family, yet it took years to understand that I had been indoctrinated into family values and to understand I need to establish my own values for my future.

People will recognize the “BIGGER” values, for example being pro-life or not, death penalty, republican, democrat or neither.

We tend not to think of the “smaller” values, like how big of a lie is acceptable, when is it okay to cheat, or is it cheating okay, if you do not get caught.

I noticed through the years that some of my family of origin values were ingrained in my brain, but they did not match my standards.

My family values included domestic violence being tolerated and/or hidden, lying for one another, looking the other way when it comes to drugs or alcohol.

This next value is sure to sound familiar to some….”what is said in this family stays in this family” and another I was raised with was “If you are going to cry I will give you something to cry about”.

I was happy to excavate these values from my mind. I encouraged others to sit with and reflect on what values were set for them by their family and decide if it is who you are today.